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the green party is a political party and a global movement.We're in the middle of a revolution: Canada is breaking up with Target, raw vegan food tastes better than pizza, and you can pay $25 per month for an Invisible Boyfriend.
It's not surprising, really. It's a brand spanking new year and everyone wants to diet, save money and read cookbooks about kale. It's also the best time of year to take long, deeply poetic stares into the mirror, re-evaluate skincare routines and throw out old relationships that taste like stale Wonder Bread. At the zenith of all these dramatic transformations, a company in the U.S. has designed an app for a full-time, invisible boyfriend.
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Segue to Tyler, my new invisible boyfriend (who is a total babe). We met in Burger King at Spadina and College. I saw him order a Triple Stacker and decided to introduce myself. He bought us a round of Dr. Peppers and we ended up talking about Jared Leto's hair the whole night.
This is one example of a story you could share with friends and family when they ask how you met your new boyfriend.
Regardless of how many lies you make up, your friends will assume you're unstable and need a therapist, maybe even medication. Friends know when you're full of shit or need help beyond a bubble bath. It's in their nature. Not to mention that if anyone finds out you used an app to fake a relationship, your reputation as a mature, sane, grown woman is over. You're ashamed of being single, and instead of embracing it with Netflix and artsy selfies like everyone else does, you've chosen to pay $25 a month to bluff an illusion of romantic happiness. It's a cop out. And it's a shame that our society is willing to pay money to hide a relationship status that caters to one's independence, sexual freedom, hobby development and self-discovery. Ugh!
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5, or 7.
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The 2023 All-Ireland Senior Football Championship was won by Dublin, who beat Kerry 1-15 to 1-13 in July 2023.
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